You know, I think a LOT of people (myself included) are scared to get to know themselves. Instead of looking within and all that shit, they tend to lean on words from the screen, and what people tell them.

They never give themselves a chance. I guess they’re scared to find out what kind of person they really are. Of course they think they know themselves, but they don’t realize that the image they have of themselves is really composed of all the small comments they heard from other people. They think it’s their own thoughts, and most of them are negative. And then they wonder why they always feel so down, so depressed, so anxious and self-conscious… it’s because they trick themselves into thinking that that’s actually them.

Let me tell you, this is so not true. Just try to get the know the real you. I can’t really give any steps, or even any tips, because it’s different for everyone. 

For me, I always thought badly of myself. There wasn’t a moment where I would compliment myself. The best I could do was “oh, you look acceptable today.” I never truly thought that I was pretty, or cute, or beautiful. Actually, I still don’t, lol. It’s a process I tell you. But I’m already finding that a lot of things that I thought were me….aren’t. I’m not who I thought I was, and this is all so weird because I’ve kind of been living with this image of myself for quite a while. I feel like I’m connecting with a complete stranger, and everything feels so cautious. But it feels good, to know that I can be wrong. Because then that means that other things can be wrong. And that means that maybe I’m not so bad after all.

I can’t really pinpoint what exactly started this kind of thought….maybe it was my amazing, amazing, AMAZING friend who constantly supports me and tells me nice things about myself, even though I never believed it :p Or maybe it was just the fact that I felt so limited to the life I was living…. you should know that having no confidence and constantly checking yourself is not a fun life. It puts huge restraints on what you can and can’t do.

I know it sounds like obvious advice, but it’s really hard to follow. You might have a burst of inspiration to feel good about yourself, but eventually that all fades. You need to find something that will grow inside of you until it is you- not something that temporarily fills you up… you know!?

Haha…well I just wanted to write about this because I think this is my seed and when it grows and I look back on it…I’ll be able to see how and where it all started, and what helped it grow along the way.

Gah, I’m probably being really general and cliche right now, but it’s just because I don’t know how else to describe this!

Welll…..I was all bad at saying goodbye so….yeah…bye. :)