My life is such a mess. One mistake after another. When did it get like this? More importantly, how did I not notice myself falling and crashing? Fuck it, I can’t even fix this shit anymore. Everything’s been falling apart, no matter how hard I tried to keep everything together. I fooled myself for a cool bit, but it all comes around in the end. There’s no point in keeping up this happy facade anymore. There’s no one to impress, no one to lie to. No point in lying when no one gives a shit in the first place, right?

AUGH. This is such a fail, seriously. I would normally tell whomever was telling me this bullshit story to man up and stop being such a pussy and take control of life and whatever all that therapist shit…but I can’t seem to listen to my own advice.

My life is so shitty right now. Call it first world problems, but I feel like the worst human being on this planet, and nothing would make me happier than not being here- if you know what I mean. Just all these things happening at once is so overwhelming, and I’m trying to find comfort in all the wrong places, and those are all going wrong as well, and it’s just fucking up my life even more and showing me what a desperate and out of control person I am.

I need a break from the world. I need a clean slate.